What is Intercultural coaching about?



Dating is hard enough as it is; building a partnership with someone whose culture, upbringing and experience of the world is vastly different than ours - well that can (at times) prove to be a MONUMENTAL challenge. Broadly defined, culture is ‘all the ways of life, including art, beliefs and institutions, that are passed down from generation to generation.’ This encapsulates our heritage, religious upbringing, social customs and even our class. These all define us and shape our word views, self-perceptions and lived experiences.



How can we better understand our partner’s world, whilst honouring our key values and needs too? How can we collaboratively curate and map a shared vision for our lives, whilst holding space for the nuance and complexity of our differences? Intercultural coaching supports you in answering some of these questions and more. 


Diversity adds richness and beauty to life; building deep relationships and connections with people from all walks of life invites growth and new perspectives as we stretch our understanding of ourselves and the world. But, as humans, it’s hard to fully understand or empathise with experiences we don’t share. Misunderstandings and culture clash are natural and highly common. Conflicts are rarely due to a lack of love and compassion, mostly, they are the result of a lack of awareness and understanding. Enhancing our cross-cultural knowledge and dialogue, and utilising tools which support us in active and empathic listening, begins to bridge the gaps.




In our sessions together, we work to map out a holistic and culturally sensitive lens through which you can view one another and the relationship. At this intersection of your two world’s lies the possibility for a third way, a space where you can experience your relationship as a compassionate and harmonious.


What kind of challenges do Intercultural couples face?

  • Relational pressures and stresses due to hidden or secret relationships

  • Cultural disagreements about how to navigate key life events e.g. marriage, pregnancy or parenthood

  • Conflicting ideals regarding the role and degree of involvement by extended family

  • Mismatched relationship expectations and communication styles

  • A lack of understanding about the ways in which our partner has been shaped by their cultural, religious or social upbringing 

  • Unequal degrees of privilege which can lead to feelings of being unsupported or ostracised in your partner’s community

  • Culture shock as a result of relocation

Intercultural couples face numerous challenges. Disagreements about the role and influence of the extended family, the complexity of navigating social and political climates which impact us differently depending on our ethnicity, heritage and language, and more broadly, value conflicts, which influence everything from sex, to finances to parenting. Whether choosing where to live, how to connect with our wider social circles or how to travel - it can be hard to agree. No matter how much you love your partner, it can be frustrating when your priorities, world views or intentions don’t naturally align. It is not uncommon for couples to find themselves stuck in conflict cycles, miscommunication and rising resentment. Mediation can play a huge role in helping you move towards compromise and healthy changes. 


These sessions can help you to ….

  • Enhance your intercultural sensitivity

  • Find ways to honour each others’ heritage and history 

  • Identify your underlying values and assumptions

  • Recognise your personal triggers and conflict patterns 

  • Explore tools which support active and empathic listening

  • Engage in healthy communication and conflict resolution

  • Release resentment and anger through bonding and reconnection exercises

  • Utilise somatic techniques to deepen intimacy (despite language barriers)

  • Map shared values and priorities to create a shared vision for your relationship

  • Set agreed boundaries regarding extended family involvement and influence

  • Develop frameworks to support collaborative decision-making

  • Establish effective coping strategies for high-stress environments 


Find out more about the process…

Throughout our sessions, you will learn to establish your own set of ideals, values and principles as a family unit. We are shaped by our cultural and social context and this history often resurfaces time and time again throughout life. At every stage, a couple must re-integrate their shared understanding. These sessions help you to adopt strategies, tools and frameworks which support you in navigating each new challenge as a team. This can radically transform the level of connection, support and fulfilment you experience in your relationship. 

Fill out this form to get in touch. I am always happy to arrange an informal call to discuss whether we would be a good fit for working together.



My experience

I have spent 7 years researching the lives of British Asian women whose relationships were continually impacted by many of these challenges; namely the trauma resulting from long-term relationships which were kept hidden or secret. This research was featured in gal-dem and on BBC radio. This work birthed ‘The Somatic Pathway,’ a coaching programme helping individuals to overcome the complex traumas that can result from cultural clash and inauthenticity. I have also spent more than 10 years working across charities, NGO’s, social enterprises and in local Government. Having worked as an Asylum caseworker, an LGBTQ programme lead and as a Culture officer, a huge degree of my professional experience centred on promoting cross-cultural dialogue and supporting local communities to connect and learn through creative initiatives. This work has heavily informed my cultural knowledge and my methodology.


I’ve also enhanced my vast knowledge of other cultures whilst living in several countries around the world; including Columbia, Mexico, Australia, Hungary and Greece. In early 2022 I received a scholarship from The Somatic School; here I further studied and explored the ways in which somatic techniques and interventions might support effective intercultural dialogue and healing. Somatic tools, which often utilise embodiment, the imagination and play, allow us to overcome cultural barriers and find ways to meaningfully connect despite a lack of shared language or experiences. This is powerful and necessary in the realm of intercultural couple’s work.


My story …

As a British-Asian women, whose partner is an American of Jewish heritage, I also understand, first-hand, the complexity of navigating an intercultural relationship. I have definitely been stuck in cycles of conflict and resentment as a result of cultural misunderstandings. I’ve dealt with many of the challenges outlined above, such as major disagreements about when/how/if to introduce your partner to your parents, feeling out of place in my partner’s family home due to my ethnicity, heritage and class and feeling unable to navigate choices in a way that honoured both mine and my partner’s values in a balanced way. I’ve certainly struggled to express my needs or to set expectations and boundaries. I’ve experienced the pressure of familial expectations (on both sides) and have witnessed this negatively impact my relationship. Before I invested in the tools, strategies and techniques to promote more open and healthy communication, I felt stuck, stressed and chronically disconnected.

Over time, we have learnt to articulate the nuances and complexity of our lived experiences in a way that enabled each other to understand. We now have the tools to honour our personal heritage, history and culture whilst also co-curating a shared vision of our relationship. Of course, this is an ongoing work in progress, but we are more able to appreciate and benefit from our different cultural identities and world views. We’ve focused on enhancing our intercultural sensitivity and our capacity for empathy. We’ve learnt to enjoy rituals, traditions and customs that are new to us and to grow together. It has required deep work on both sides to reach this point, but it has been worth it. I fully understand that when you are in the midst of relational challenges, they can feel impossible to overcome, but it is possible to get past them with the right support. Every couple’s challenges and journey are unique, but the process itself is nourishing and sets the foundations for a happier and more resilient connection.