Navigating an upbringing which straddles two cultures clearly impacts the process of identity formation. In the same way that we recognise trauma can disrupt or interfere with the developmental process, a continual need to shapeshift to fit in and be accepted can delay or entirely halt the identity formation process. Deceit and inauthenticity can become normalised which leads to a gradual eroding away of our self-worth, self-esteem and connection to our values and interests. This can end up defining our emotional and physical wellbeing as well as shaping our behaviours - our personalities can seem like they are nothing more than a collection of adaptive responses which helped us to cope with the challenge of living two contradictory lives. This essay summarises the findings of a 7-year research project which explored how British Asian women can use somatic techniques and interventions to reinvent themselves and establish a strong sense of self and identity after years of leading secret, double lives.